Lifestyle

The Deli Dilemma

When you go out into the world to perform your daily/weekly errands, you tend to come across some interesting characters. They could be on the road, at the store, at the bank, or even at your own home.

On this day, it was the local deli that provided me with my daily entertainment.

Now normally, I don’t really care if I have to wait in a line. I mind my own business and just look at my phone.

But sometimes, I people watch at the deli. I listen to the conversations they have and chuckle at their stories. But the BEST one to listen to is the lady with the “Deli Dilemma.”

Now granted, everyone has a specific way they like their deli items sliced. Customers may like them thicker for paninis, or thinner for sandwiches, etc…. BUT, you will sometimes get the customer that just can’t make up their mind AND needs it exactly perfect.

And I met this lady yesterday when I was at the deli. She was with her three annoying children, and she was looking at the gentleman behind the deli saying; “Now, I want the Delectable Delicious BBQ Chipotle Chicken sliced to perfection. I don’t want it too thick to the point where it is too chunky for a sandwich, but I don’t want it too thin where I can’t even taste it either.”

The poor bastard behind the counter just nodded his head as she continued to ramble on.  She finished her order and he proceeded to start slicing.

Then, once she was done tending to her children for the eighteenth time, she looks back to survey the slicing.

“NO, NO, NO! That is too thin, that is WAY too thin. It needs to be thicker so I can actually taste the meat.”

Once he was able to satisfy the crazy woman’s order, he gives her the bag of meat and says; “Anything else Ms.?”

AND I KID YOU NOT, she looked at this man dead in the eye and said; “So you’re not going to ask me if I want this seasoned?” It must have took every ounce of his being to not chuck the slicer itself in her general direction.

“No, we do not do that here;” he said.

“Well then,” she said, as she grabbed her bag, turned her nose up and walked away.

It amazes me the kind of people that walk this earth every day. Like I said before, I personally like my meat sliced thin for sandwiches; BUT THAT’S ALL I TELL THE GUY! I say; “Can I get this meat sliced thin for sandwiches?” I don’t sit there and spend an hour reciting a novel to him. He’s got better things to do then to listen to your dumb-ass tell him what to do.

 

Now, do you have any interesting deli experiences? Have you ever had someone like this in front of you at the deli? Let me know in the comments below.

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